Once upon a time, there was a man named Bob playing catch with his dog named Bob. The ball was also named Bob. This is because he loved his name so much, Bob called everything Bob. One day he went to his friend’s house, and his friend opened the door.
Bob said, “Hi Bob!” even though his friend’s name was not Bob. It was Steven.
Steven sighed, “Hi Bob.” Because Bob called everyone and everything bob, some people got used to it. His dog, for example, loved the name. Steven, however, was not one of those people.
Steven thought that calling everything “Bob” made things too confusing and complicated. What if Bob got another dog? Then when he called for one of them, both of them would come. And when he put out their bowls, the bowls would have the same name on them. How would the dogs know which bowl is theirs?
Steven let Bob inside the house and pointed to the living room. Football was playing on the TV.
“We saved a bob for you on the bob — I mean a spot for you on the sofa,” Steven told Bob. All this Bob stuff was so discombobulating. (That means confusing. Bob liked that word, because it had ‘bob’ in it.)
Bob sat on the sofa. He was not a big fan of football, so he fell asleep during the game. His head bobbed up and down in his sleep.
When bob woke up, he saw a Dragon where the TV used to be. The Dragon spoke to him, “I am the pizza dragon. Your friends have brought me here to stop you from saying Bob so much. If you say Bob three times, I will have to eat you. If you promise to never say Bob again, I will give you Pizza.”
Bob could not believe that his friends were doing this! In his anger, he said, “How could you do this! I am Bob! Bob is my favorite thing in the world! –”
But before he could say anything else, Steven put his hand over Bob’s mouth.
“Mnughjedgfby,” Bob said.
“You already said Bob twice, if you say it one more time, the Dragon will eat you,” said Steven.
Although Bob was really mad at his friends, the Dragon looked very hungry, so he decided not to say Bob any more. He did not promise to never say it again, though. In a huff, he left Steven’s house.
He got into his car to drive back home. On his dash there were some bobble heads. He wanted to say “Bob!” but he didn’t. Before starting the car, he reached into his pocket and got a pack of gum. It was Bobble gum. He wanted to say “Bob!” but he didn’t. When he got home, he saw his dog. He wanted to yell “Bob! I’m home!” but he didn’t.
At first, Bob was very upset. He didn’t get to say Bob at all. How could he live without his favorite thing? But then a few days passed. He realized that Bob wasn’t his favorite thing. His car was his favorite. His gum was his favorite. And most of all, his dog was his favorite. It didn’t matter what he called them.
Finally, Bob decided to run back to Steven’s house. He promised to the Dragon and to all of his friends, that he would never say Bob again. Then bob felt someone shaking his shoulder.
“Bob, Bob, wake up.”
Bob blinked and looked around. He said, “Hey Steven.”
“You were asleep on the sofa, and we didn’t want to bother you. But it’s lunch time now, so do you want a slice of Pizza?”
“Yes, I do want a slice of Pizza,” Bob said. Steven stepped back in surprise, this was the first time he called it “pizza” and not “Bob.”
“I’m hungry, Steven, ” said Bob, “let’s eat.”
And so, they did. And Bob called all his friends and all his belongings by their real names. In fact, he never said Bob again, except when he got home and played with his dog, Bob.
Two Brothers Write 